Our emotional programs were created before the age of 7 years old when we were operating in theta and alpha brainwave. As children, our brains were absorbing all the experiences and programmes of acceptable and unacceptable, socially, emotionally, psychologically and we didn’t have the cognitive ability to work out if a particular message was right or wrong. This early life experience is what taught our soul, or psyche to separate, to believe that we are good and bad, shadow and light!
The inner child developed beliefs about conditional love. Because we were raised by adults who had their own wounds (even if they had the best intentions), we were brought up with the false premise that we were loveable and acceptable for what we did or didn’t do rather than knowing we were loveable, without conditions to our developing psyche and personality.
A common reaction to early childhood trauma is to deny or repress the painful experience, which is pushed back into the shadow side of our personality. We begin to create a split in reality, of good and evil, a persona is created to carry out and project all the good qualities and the shadow hides all the prejudice and bias of what we consider evil.
When we met the narcissist, we had not yet healed the inner subconscious wounds or traumatic experiences we sustained in our childhood. The narcissist appeared to be someone who, on first contact and during the early phase of falling in love, we believed they loved us unconditionally. The phrase, like attracts like applies here, the inner world is reflected in the outer world. We are finally seen and appreciated for who we believe we are. This person instead of granting us our missing wholeness came in to our life to reflect back and rip our deep subconscious childhood wounds up to the surface, so that finally we could heal them.
Unfortunately we believe it will be easier to cover up our inner wounds. We begin blaming and shaming, judging and creating stories of victimisation and pointing outwards away from the inner wounds to convince ourselves that our pain has nothing to do with needing to heal our own childhood wounds. We project the blame back, by projecting, we are essentially trying to change something about someone else, rather than examine our own prejudices and opinions and ultimately, facing and making the internal change, that the relationship exposed.
The internal changes that we need to address are our original childhood repressions regarding ourselves. We could embody fear of abandonment or rejection, therefore, we convince ourselves that the cause of our emotional distress is futile, or too painful to address. Our mind then starts to analyse our own weaknesses and we pull ourselves down further, into the abyss of self destruction or depression.
This is the ego voice that keeps you attached to and obsessing about the very person or thing that you are sustaining damage from, and this is your mind telling you any story or justification to distract you from going inside to heal your subconscious wounds.
It’s all biological and neurological.
When an event happens in our life, our related belief systems create a perception – a ‘decision’ about that event. This then sends an electrical signal through the hippocampus (in our brain) which produces the chemicals, that match our perceptions. These chemicals, called peptides, are then distributed throughout our body. This creates the emotion that matches our perception about the event. There is a peptide for anger, sadness, love, happiness and every emotion we experience.
When we experience an episode at the hand of an abuser that matches an already existing childhood wound, our brain triggers us to feel powerlessness, or victimisation and other fearful perceptions. We literally regress to the emotional age of our original unhealed wounds. The psychology of self analysis and self awareness is paramount to healing and recovering from emotional and psychological abuse. This can work in both projecting and repressing denial, to becoming oppressive and destructive through denial. Opposites attract through subconscious wounds and traumas. An oppresser, with early subconscious wounds will match the oppressed with identical or similar trauma wounds. The difference between the two people is temperament and personal perception of the experience.
Eg; the oppressed is weaker, easily manipulated and morally conscientious (operant conditioning) persona!
The oppressor is angry and commits to protecting them-self, at the expense of the oppressed. (Operant conditioning) shadow!
The chemical production of trauma and the cells of your body are literally addicted to these painful emotions. If deceit, disloyalty, injustice, betrayal, abandonment or rejection and so forth are your inner wounds, your mind continually goes back to thinking about how the narcissist hurt you, and trying to work out why he or she did, and how he or she could be so cruel or evil. By projecting and blaming the other, you effectively keep yourself in victim mentality and never move past the victim hood stage. By neglecting your own inner trauma, you give power to, the abuser.
By understanding your inner identity and psychology, you will be able to identify where your narcissistic wounds originated and how you have been mirroring the original trauma and enable freedom from narcissism and healing from within.
The power of four
The heart has four chambers, the mind has four lobes, the soul has four ventricles, the body has four separate entities – neurology, biology, psychology and psychiatry. There are many other branches of science, such as immunology, musculoskeletal to name a few, but for the purpose of soul evolution, neurology and psychology both incorporate the emotion and behaviour, (nurture) biology and psychiatry both incorporate innate, or genetics – (nature).
The magic of the four ventricles.
The 1st and 2nd lateral ventricles are in the left and right hemisphere, when psychologists refer to a left brain and right brian, they are effectively talking about the feminine and masculine aspects of our own character and personality.
The third ventricle sits over the pineal gland and the fourth ventricle is directly below the cerebellum, incidentally, the fourth ventricle is also attached to the tenth cranial nerve, named the vagus nerve, this is the only main nerve from the brain, that connects to the gastrointestinal tract and associated plexuses and also the pancreas and the thymus gland. This explains the gut instinct, or gut warning to people who have maintained their intuitive muscles. It also explain why we feel anxiety in out stomach or our chest! The associated plexus sites connected to the organs (heart or stomach) explain the phenomena of anxiety and the related symptoms experienced.
This is the connecting feature of mind – heart- body – spirit. The tenth cranial nerve is the mainframe for experiences that we perceive individually. This nerve is the body to mind connection, or the external environment to the internal homeostasis. What we perceive and experience, we believe and hold within.
As within, so without. The world which we construct and experience, is largely designed through our reactions and perceptions. The sensory world is absorbed and stored, through the perceptual experiences of the individual.
To enable enlightenment and overcome the enslavement of emotional drives and instincts, one must learn to polarise all of their psyche, including the soul, to achieve individuation and self actualisation.
Do the four chambers of the heart, (heart) and the four ventricles of the soul, (soul) along with the four lobes of the brain, (mind) the four bodies- physical, mental, emotional and intuitive (body). The journey of the soul, begins with understanding and embodying all four aspects of the human experience.