As a species, we chase after one of the most cherished and desired emotions of them all…. Love.
My perception of real love is that it is free, warmer than a smile, a smile that is free to all those who stop to see, yet bound! My love is innocent, wild and unpredictable, chasing rainbow’s after the storm. Basking in the rays of the sun, as I wander through the woods, where the sun throws a golden ray to light the path over me, in my wild and childish abandon! This is the content of my love. And the joy of feeling so alive, and so in love as I daydream about the one I love. A love’s requiem, my secret lover’s dream.
Yet the other side of love is to give another my all, the good, the bad, the ugly, the whole of my love. I find I am held captive to a fear, this fear is bound by chains of loss, as big as death itself. A fear that grips my heart and closes the door, building a wall so high protects the love I hold so dear, so that I can keep myself safe, from the burning fire that rejection brings. And as I step though the fear, embrace the unknown, I realise the power of unrequited love breaks open my walls and water erupts out of the chambers of my heart, to spill over the lids in my eyes, coursing down my cheeks like a waterfall. Swept away with the ocean of sadness as the loss of unrequited love, falls into a deep dark ravine, deep into my heart as you walk by, I’m grateful at least that you don’t turn around to see me cry.
This is what I believe is Love is…..
The ancient philosophy theorists described love in many of its different and glorious forms!
Philia – which they saw as a deep but usually non-sexual intimacy between close friends and family members or as a deep bond forged by soldiers as they fought alongside each other in battle.
Ludus – describes a more playful affection found in fooling around or flirting.
Pragma – is the mature love that develops over a long period of time between long-term couples and involves actively practising goodwill, commitment, compromise and understanding.
Agape – is a more generalised love, it’s not about exclusivity but about love for all of humanity.
Philautia – is self love, which isn’t as selfish as it sounds. As Aristotle discovered and as any psychotherapist will tell you, in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself.
Last, probably because it causes the most trouble, Eros – is about sexual passion and desire. Unless it morphs into philia and/or pragma, Eros will burn itself out. As without commitment, Eros becomes infatuation.
Without passion love is reduced to dedication, to love without nurturing, is how love dies. It is unlikely and unrealistic to expect to experience all six types with only one person. Family, friendship and community are important for the heart and soul to experience love.
Love is a paradox, because love is free, yet love is what attaches us to bonds stronger than death. Love cannot be bought or sold and there is nothing that love cannot face.
Love is life’s greatest blessing. And we love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. That’s love!
Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants love, everybody seeks love, but few ever achieve it. Those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, will never forget it! For Love cannot be forgotten!
War. Pain. Lies, hate, the suffering is to suffer in the name of love, to suffer is to come to know love. For out of suffering, we come to love’s greatest gift, that which is unconditional, for the harmed and hurt, have the loudest voice screaming to be loved, to be seen, and to be accepted. The hurting soul needs love the most.
Love is the magic that heals. Love is the essence that carries us our from pain and suffering, grasping our own conditions and expectations, we release the drive for power and embrace the acceptance of ourselves and one another. When I see the way that humankind Loves, the way humans, embrace and cherish, the way the child embraces, becomes consumed even in the moment of joy, my eyes well up with tears, a joy that fills the heart – that is love.
From the outer edge of the universe to the inner most vessels of the heart, you cannot find anything more beautiful, more diverse to experience in this life, is there anything more beautiful than the feeling of love. I know that real Love is unconditional, without limits, without expectations and false love is with conditions, with borders, restrictions, boundaries and with constraints that reform and reduce the soul into a mere shadow of who they are.
To love with conditions is to not accept who they are. To love without conditions is to love all that they are!
Love knows no boundaries. Love has no religion. Love does not have a colour, a gender or a culture. Love only knows to love.
But you must also know that love can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and cause the most ferocious agony to the inner world of the fragile heart. To know love, you must be able to see and experience both sides of the sun, to be open to the pain, both given and received. To feel the rays of warmth or the sting of blindness from the light. It is in these moments that the heart learns to fly, to soar above the clouds and skyline and sees that love, is such a powerful joyous expression, it cannot be shamed, or replaced, other than with that what is true, and what is more true than the expression of love.
To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to the darkest lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate that what is simple. To respect strength, never power or to control power. As real love cannot be controlled. And to feel the power, from the strength given out of love, this is the measure and content of my soul, my heart and my love.
I suppose what I am saying, dear soul mate is, I love you. It matters not that you love me too, for just to say these words to you releases the chains and open my wings, to allow me to express all that I hold dear for you. So, Dear cherished love, if our paths never cross and our eyes never meet, If I never hear you say these words to me, I will still cherish and love you,. And I hope where you are, you are being loved in all your entirety as I love for you. Be assured and never forget, that my love is true, however far away you are, beyond any mountain, valley or sea, I hope, you have joy, laughter and happiness, never forget, I will always love you…