The Knife Angel!

You have to risk your life, to save your life!!

Here in Coventry, the knife angel is on display outside the cathedral. The knife angel is a piece of art, created out of all the knives that have taken young men and women’s lives. Each knife in this statue, was once a lethal weapon, and someone’s son, or daughter… lost their life!

Look at the background, you can see St Michael, defeating the Devil.

This piece of art is such a masterpiece, look at the angel’s face, how it captured the emotional expression of what this crime does, it tells the story of the despair…. like it’s saying, WHY!! why destroy your life, so soon.. Knives are a part of our culture, we all eat with a knife and confiscation of such a dangerous weapon is a never-ending battle, because we eat with knives, so how do we tackle this dangerous pandemic, and more to the point… why is knife crime rising!

I think the true reason for such an increase in knife crime, is not because each young person intentionally wants to go out and kill another person, but more likely, they are protecting themselves, trying to defend themselves because of the increase of violence they have likely faced! I’m not referring to psychopaths, as this type of individual is of a different creed altogether!

The oppressed becomes the oppressor!!

Bullying is rife in schools these days, a major problem which fans the flames for those young people who are a victim of bullying, they likely feel they need to protect themselves, from further torment and bullying, so they take a knife with them, to make them feel safe, to empower them to feel stronger, against their oppressors!

Bullying causes fear, and fear drives hate, hate drives on pain. And pain, causes conflict, disagreements, and inevitably – fighting! In self defence or used for intimidation!

These young people are in PAIN, because of something or someone in their past, who has hurt them and made them feel unsafe! Pain breeds contempt, bitterness and hatred. Nothing can ever be resolved if we keep re-inventing the wheel. we really need to address the root cause of suffering for the young people and provide real support, guidance and protection.

I wanted to write this post, because I lived to tell the tale, I have had a knife used on me! in brutal honesty, I’ve experienced a couple of incidents, with different people… a flip knife, machete, dagger, kitchen knife, if you look further into the background of this picture, you will see St Michael, defeating Lucifer. He doesn’t kill his enemy, he obtains mastery over the enemy, and that enemy is HATE and ANGER! The enemy of anger and hate, lives within.

This one incident, I too, felt unsafe, trapped and after spending years of being oppressed, I faced a situation where I was at risk – of becoming the oppressor. After two days of constant mental, emotional verbal torment, I almost snapped… Tired from constantly having to defend myself, and the knife was the deciding factor of my fate. Was I going to die at the hands of an abuser, or was I going to become the abuser, and thrust the knife at him in defence?

They say you have to risk your life to save your life, well at the time, this phrase wasn’t at the front of my mind. Heightened emotions ran through my veins like a train. Every cell I my body pulsed to a raging fire of fear! I know what it’s like to be abused, bullied, manipulated, violated, belittled, betrayed, rejected, ridiculed, mocked etc… and yet, I resisted this overpowering emotion that pulsated through my veins that consumed me, anger is an emotion that feeds a life of its own, and defeating our anger is part of self mastery and self control, but when anger grips you, it makes you lose control of yourself! I kept control of my pain, and anger?

I was faced with a choice, either kill, or be killed!

I chose the latter… I guess this is what people mean when they say you have to risk your life to save your life! In a split second, of weakness, and controlling my RAGE. My whole life changed…. I changed!

You could say I was ‘protected’ from this point onwards… I met a deity, a King, whom I was so awed with, I bowed in reverence, I’ve never done this before in my life… it was either an angel, or the Lord of Creation himself. (It wasn’t JESUS)… I was awestruck, speechless, overwhelmed with honour… and I was awarded a Lion, butterfly and Dove for my courage in mastering self control, and as a bonus, I no longer feel this destructive emotion, I guess to conquer my temper, and defeating the devil opposite me, you have to face them, him or her, face to face! You have to face the devil to defeat him, just like St Michael does inn the background on the cathedral wall… you can’t kill your shadow, as that’s part of the trap. To keep your life you have to be willing to sacrifice your life!

According to facts, there are 1% psychopaths and 4% sociopaths in the world!! So the devil really lives!

The blessings are that I’ve never been affected by rage, envy or anger ever since. I was relieved of this destructive emotion! I feel at peace in my heart now, as I see anger and envy for what it is – unconscious unresolved pain!

The moral to my story is – I have no right to take another person’s life. What goes around, comes around! I guess this is what it means, ‘to save your life, you have to risk your life! You have to lose everything, in order to gain something!

First you get the test, and then you learn the lesson!!

Self control is mastery over the ‘self’, facing and defeating your own demons… If I can control myself from hurting another human being, then why cant others do the same! The way I see it is, if we keep taking an eye for and eye, fighting fire with fire.. everybody in this world will soon be blind!

We all have two sides to our ego’s a shadow and a persona, which one wins depends on the person in control. The shadow is the angry, selfish destructive aspect of our egoic self, and feels self righteous and has a love for power over, a predator mindset. The other side to the ego is compassion, empathy, joy, kindness often known as the higher aspect of our self, (this is the predators food) When you master your anger, you master the ‘self.’

I am by no means advocating or supporting violence, murder or knife crimes, I am merely sharing one of incidents where I have had a knife, used on me. (incidentally, this situation was the last time.) And what I did in this situation!

Without a doubt, we do need to change the way we behave towards each other, and as I’ve said before in my other posts – Hurt people, hurt people, damaged people are really in pain, because that may be all they have ever known… the theory of oppression, is to overcome your oppressor, and the challenge of life, is to be a bigger, better person THAN your Oppressor. not become what you learnt, but to learn to be better than…

Life can be cruel and its the cruelty in which we encounter, that shapes our character, strength and courage. There are psychopaths on this earth, and they will prey on your compassion, kindness and caring nature… they see you as weak, vulnerable and an easy target! An no, you cannot love such an enemy, because they don’t value love… Infact, they mock this aspect of you.

You cannot love thy enemy, you must defeat them… like St Michael… not kill them!

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