Your BEST teacher is your EX

First you get the TEST and then you learn the LESSON! Your Ex is your best teacher, because your ex and all the trials and tests you went through, teaches you to look further into yourself. They are effectively help you to AWAKEN.

They help you to learn about your weaknesses in the relationship and also in yourself.

All abuse is insidious I know, but if you turn the page around and look at it from a different angle, you will realise where you were giving your power away and where you need to heal. They are effectively helping you to heal.

An abusive relationship is hell I know, but once you make the conscious choice to look deeper at the why’s… why you were defenceless, why you kept forgiving, why you were weak, or even a martyr! They help you by reflecting back to you, YOUR WEAKNESSES enabling you to take up the painful work of forgiveness and gratitude.

I know at the time it doesn’t feel very helpful, or kind, but believe me, when it’s over, you will have no other choice to look at your own behaviour and how you played a part in the twisted entanglement that kept the relationship binded.

In my experience, my abusive past allowed me to face my own traumas, my own weaknesses and shame, and they pushed me back to source. They are teaching you what love isn’t so that you can reach back to source and discover what LOVE IS!

By taking responsibility in the entanglement, you realise your;



SELF COMPASSION and ultimately, it teaches you the greatest lesson of all… SELF LOVE

To truly heal you forgive and let go!

We all experience some level of trauma, and many of us have deep wounds from childhood and it is these deep wounds that your EX, reflects back to you. Whether your traumas come from an abusive ex partner, a dysfunctional parent or family, or even a friend, the purpose of the entanglement was to allow you to examine your attitude and weaknesses.

  • Did you give them too many chances to stop their behaviour!
  • Did you believe the false promises after giving second, third … fifty chances!!
  • Did you believe in words.. because the biggest lesson I learnt was .. words lie.. Actions don’t!

What they actually think of you will be seen in their behaviour towards you, actions don’t lie.. lips do… thoughts become words and words become actions… unpicking the psychological traps and you’ll discover the pot of gold at the end of the lesson!

A man with a bottle of one hand is no different to a man with a bible in the other… both types are self righteous, yet the irony of the situation is they teach women to stand up for themselves. They show you your strength.

One of the most empowering phrases I now tell people who are experiencing some type of mind game, or cruel behaviour is this;

If they don’t like what you bring to the table, if they fail to appreciate what you have to offer…. Leave the table!

If you are either an option or an object… leave them because that is YOUR CHOICE… to respect yourself.

Tolerating and continually forgiving bad behaviour is conducive to resolving the deep-rooted problem that was there underneath all the layers of dogma, traditions, and societal pressures for how a relationship should be.

A great AWAKENING is shaking up the planet and happening right now. Those who believe they are a victim, are victimising themselves into the victim mentality. There has to be a villain in order for you to see the insanity of forgiving someone who truly doesn’t care about you… because you are not caring about you, so why should they!

The other mirror in your relationship is no more the villain than you are the scapegoat, or punchbag!!


Hating them is fuelling the poison and solidifies them firmly in your mind. Your wasting your energy and attention giving them a second thought, it is conducive to your healing. Walk away and take your power back, if they genuinely cared, they would of shown this in their attitude and behaviour!

Stop relying on words, listen to the behaviour and their actions because that’s their shadow revealing itself to you! Ignorance, attitude and behaviour are the three biggest killers of any relationship, you can’t fix someone who doesn’t see a problem with their behaviour!

GIVE up and TAKE you POWER away, just walk away!

Accept the lesson, give thanks to what the lesson taught you, as it has expanded your consciousness and supported you to discover your true SELF.

The biggest mistake of your life leads you directly on the path to the love of your life! And remember, you didn’t lose anyone, you FOUND YOUSELF!

6 thoughts on “Your BEST teacher is your EX

  1. Well said Kelly to the point when you eliminate emotional responses and focus on logic you see that those that tell you time …..heals is nothing more then mirage of their own self preservation to make them find comfort for you in your state of crisis . Which is bullshit rather someone was honest and say how it is and that things are not okay then painting master canvas of deception .

    The only way to survive the storm is to endured all that cruel sadestic son of bitch thrashes on you trying to rip you to shreds . Hopefully when its gotten its fix enough subside its mass for destruction and violence you will be able to see yourself again when you look into the mirror and not Grey Eyes .




    1. Yes exactly, with such a lot of deception and cruelty surrounding us, it’s easy to get lost in the fog, and some things don’t heal at all, you just learn to live with the scars X


    1. Keep climbing Walter, there are valuable lessons to be heard and learnt from past pain and trauma. Inside, there is your HERO, and in my experience, it was the villain that showed me my STRENGTH x


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