Embracing suffering… To find joy

Suffering, its one of the hardest lessons we experience in life, but one that is necessary for our growth and development. One of the things I’ve learnt when I’ve unpicked and evaluated my own life, I would ask ‘what is the purpose of suffering, what did that lesson mean’, and then I realise. Without suffering, the heart would not know what is was created for, what it could do and why it learns in this unique way.

We love drama, it’s the nectar of life…. No man can serve two masters, for he will hate one and love the other. Drama is the glue that’s binds us all on the great world stage.

This is the very breath of life, and then I look around at society, on the world stage, and see nations in conflict and disagreement! The shadows come out to play and you can see behind the masks or personalities, that people wear. The shadow reveals itself!

We suffer from our own miseries, which were created in our own minds, and we did this by expectation. Expecting someone to treat you the same way you have treated them…… this is expecting disappointment, expecting results without action, expecting someone or something to turn everything back around…. Rewind time and step back to change something…. yet the gold we seek is in the suffering…. Because inside the truth of the suffering, we are humbled. Holding and expectation of others means you want to fix them and their lives, yet focussing and fixing your own life, is where you will discover real freedom.

The collateral beauty from the tragedy, never fails to shake us to the core! Shock, disbelief, or appreciation and gratitude…. Were a nation of wounded children, in need of compassion.

We can only give compassion if we have known suffering. And to know suffering is to learn…. to survive in such a harsh and cruel world. To fall down, to fail, to effect change! – Personal change!
We need to look at ourselves with honesty, are we in pain because of pride and a wounded ego. Or is it because we when things go wrong in life, that’s when life shows you who you are. And when life is going well, everyone can pretend to be fantastic.

Look at yourself and give yourself the love you wanted in return, then you will see the true face and the real emotions you actually feel, for the man or woman who broke your heart. Smashing it into a thousand pieces… we assume the other person feels the same avalanche of pain that rips up inside like an exploding tornado, or self erupting volcanic explosion!

The truth is, they don’t feel the same feelings you do, and self control over emotional mastery is a tricky task to conquer.

Embrace your suffering and you can look deeply into it, recognize the emotions it brings up, feel the intensity of the waves, thundering through your veins as it rises up inside your body. Hear the sounds that permeate your soul, kissing it sweetly and gently nurturing the wounds, forgive yourself for expecting the other person who pierced your beating heart and ripped it apart savagely, then laughed at your distress….. Forgive yourself for waiting so long, so finally you see the darkness in those toxic vibrations… that song or rhythm, that resisted and repressed each chord within.

Be mellowed by the bittersweet sting, or be outraged by the sweeping tidal wave, let your heart feel…. all that is real, let it burn…. and die in the flames.

For you will emerge, as either the phoenix who rises out of the ashes, or you will be burned by its ferocious heat and flames… on the battle ground, slain.

With understanding and compassion, you will then see into your pain and heal your wounds in your heart, we are no different in suffering. We all suffer, whether the suffering is from disability, career fail, sudden health limiting illness, the loss of a child, the loss of love….

Nobody has the perfect childhood, nobody shares the same perception, we feed off our own dramas and the dramas of others, drama is the dance we have with humanity, with our social environment. With each other, we all have our trauma’s too, so we all carry a cross of burden with us… for all our lives.

With suffering, we can see truth! The space between the space, the air between each breathe, the free will and will of power, we play the scales of karma in everything we do, there is never only one option and one choice in taking risks. Either outcome will be the effect of past learning and conditioning.

By learning the wisdom that the suffering lesson was showing us, as everybody has a different perspective, and perception of how they view the world. No two humans experience of pain can ever feel the same. Just as two nations have different cultures and traditions, which neither side can accept about the other. The opposite to conflict is peace, and without suffering, how can we ever learn what  PEACE is. As through suffering, and by embracing the wound it leads the seeker…. and reveals the way, to peace.

Without suffering the heart cannot grow…

Life is not trying to break you, it may be trying to find a way to shake you, so that you can see what is real and what is worth fighting for. Healing takes time, but it also takes courage to make that step too…. As I look back on my life, I see pain and heart break, failures and mistakes. Now I look in the mirror and see strength, pride in myself and the lessons I learnt. It didn’t break me, or kill me, only made me stronger and more humbled.

You can’t make someone love you and you can’t expect respect, if you’re not showing up with the same behaviour. Openness seems demanding and energy consuming. Vulnerability can make you feel nervous… it feels uncomfortable, and it’s this discomfort that we try anaesthetising for its cure, we seek out any type of addiction, alcohol, drugs, food, sex, anything to avoid accepting and embracing the pain felt inside.

Pain is the teacher, and love is what we are all seeking to claim…. embracing suffering, grief and loss teaches us a lesson, and what the lessons means to one person can be completely opposite to another…. no two people are the same, no two nations are the same, no two species are the same. We are here to experience each other, with all our diversity and individual characteristics. Love, hate and suffering needs food to continue….

Life would be dull, boring and predictable…. if we were all the same!

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