Life is simple…. Bring back love!

Life is simple really. When you look at things with a simplistic point of view it’s so simple. It’s us humans that complicate the process. Chasing after more material things in the quest to make ourselves happy, more money more romantic lovers, more career choices, bigger banks accounts bigger house. It’s all designed to feed an never ending quenchable ego. And what suffers….. is love.

Some would say that it is for love that they aspire and chace after these objects. And if that truly fills the love in their heart then that’s good, but how many of us can honestly admit that the years of toil and hard work, the endless days and nights spent chasing after the next big breakthrough. Working harder and harder for more money to fix the wrinkles on the face or to buy surgery to lose the pounds our gluttonous lifestyle has given us. A majic pill to remove the self pity and self loathing or hoping to find that at the end of the pint glass we will finally feel happy and satisfied?

Does these temptations really satiate the heart. Do they enrich the emotional content and add memories of good times into the memory back of our human lives?

As a species we’ve been taught to compete, and in the game of competition we sacrifice the love that’s all around us. The love of a good family. The love that we can share through our children’s childhood. The love of sharing memories with a cup of tea and slice of cake with our elderly generation. This is what love really is. Our families and our communities.

As parents we are so busy striving to make money in a job that barely keeps the roof over our head and our children suffer the consequences of our Working and Careers. Children are now raised by the school and learn to depend on their peers because their parents are so busy keeping up with their job to put food on the table, or for the more comfortable family, to buy the two holidays every year and all the other luxuries they work hard to purchase. Working past the point of survival to aspire to earn more and more. That once the children flee the nest its about saving every penny for a pension so that in the sentient years we can be assured that we will be secure and have the necessary provisions to keep warm and safe. We suffer with our health and we suffer for our families through working so much! In our suffering, we lose sight of what is really important and what really matters….. Love, and the happiness of love!

Addictions are causing so much damage in society today. The statistics show that 1 in 7 children will experience abuse of some kind and worse than this is that 1 in 3 will experience sexual abuse! Abuse is the polar opposite of love, abuse is pain and fear and love is the cure for all sufferings!

The figures for mental health services is rising, and demand, is outstripping supply. Abuse doesn’t just mean physical or sexual, it’s also neglect. And neglect is born out of a barren childhood, where parents were either working their butts off to stay alive or working to for the two holidays a year, buy a flashy car and spend their income feeding their empty hearts with addictions and other tempting treats and for what? To find love and comfort in the new car or the breast enlargement for self love? Do material things feed the heart with warmth, tenderness and love. If it was, how much would it cost or how much would we pay for it?

Love is all around us and love is everywhere, its just we’ve failed to see love for what it really is. Love gives us the pleasures and treasures that is in everything and is everywhere. Just as the devil and the temptations those devilish treats have to offer, so too is there love, wonder and amazement in everything we see.

Yet all these things that we love can also be the cause for our demise and our fall from grace.

We can love chocolate but some over extend this into an addiction  the beloved chocolate bar masks feelings of loneliness. The alcohol and drugs at a party for the high it gave only to slip into addiction, where the addict finds love and ecstasy after the hit from the crack pipe! Addictions are truly a mask and we all walk a fine balance between moderation and addiction, using masks that the addictions give, to hide or cover the emptiness and loneliness our hearts really feel. It’s these masks that cover up a deep need inside, to find love. And yet these addictions mask the wound that protects us from – a barren childhood borne out of neglect or abuse!

Divorce rates are ever escalating and children are now becoming pawns in the game of divorce. Their lives are being shattered and broken through their parents own pain and personal conflict, the children of the future, who only really want to spend quality time with their parents – suffer!

The suffering continues into adulthood….. The story continues…..

Mental health is rising and this all stems back to a childhood that was lost. A childhood where some type of abuse occurred and either nobody cared for them in those difficult times, or nobody realised the pain the child was feeling or that’s how they maybe saw it when it happened. Everybody has a different perception and perspective of their own childhood, some had all the wealth around them with three different holidays a year and others had nothing, barely enough clothing to keep them warm during winter months!

Mental health may not be visible but be assured, it’s very real and far more common among humanity than many of us care to believe even. Mental health is a service for the broken, damaged and dysfunctional bodies in society. A service that is overwhelmed with adults who were broken from a time of their past. A lost youth, a broken heart or some other abuse from their childhood!

Just because we can’t see someone’s else’s pain, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Everybody has demons in their closet from their past, and kindness costs nothing.

Mental health is one of the root causes of addiction. Yet the regular alcohol drinker doesn’t see this as a mental illness. The person addicted to lip fillers and lyposuction doesn’t view their addiction to perfection as damaging and the workaholic doesn’t realise by working all the time that this affects his wellbeing and his family. But the children continue to suffer!!

And these addictions include drug abuse, being addicted to sex or vanity the list is endless! We’re not infallible and most of the things we have in life are supposed to enhance our enjoyment, yet underneath when these addictions become troublesome or maladaptive, they can cause a plethora of destruction for the person family unit.

When is enough, going to be enough. When can we look ourselves in the mirror and stop the mental anguish of chasing after more. When will we finally turn around and look at our families and children and say…. I have enough… I have Love right here and I have enough.

Because love is free. Love is everlasting, it creates memories. It’s these memories what can have a lasting impact on our minds forever and builds a well adjusted child. It build the muscle in the heart as opposed to building the digits in the bank. If we all lived a more simplistic existence, love would flow in every household across all children.  Communication is lacking so badly in many relationship these days. Everybody seems to listen so that they can either come back with a reaction or to outsmart the other person.

Who really listens these days apart from counsellors!

The children are our future and we as a species, are ruining them. We ruin them with more gadgets and toys, working in a job that will provide all children’s want and needs and by doing this we sacrifice the very bonding and childhood our children crave. By teaching them to want and need more too!

This is the true cause of dysfunctional relationships and it’s a universal problem that we all face. There is no perfect family just as there is no perfect person! Yet we strive to show this to the world? 

The internet is an amazing discovery, and like everything is life, there is always a good and bad side, the good side, is that it enables us to communicate to each other, the bad thing is, it destroys real social communication. A double edged sword that can help, but also harm!

Neglect isn’t just living with a drug addicted or alcoholic parents, neglect isn’t about not having any clean clothes to wear. Neglect is also buying our children gadgets and toys and neglecting their emotional and social development. Abundant financial wealth can also cause neglect. This emotional neglect that we fail to recognise.

Neglect is one of the causes of many mental health difficulties. (personality disorder) And neglect, is abuse too!

We sacrifice our lives chasing after the dream job the dream house or even the dream lifestyle and forget to really look around and see that everything around us was once a dream we anticipated, the nine months of excitement waiting to meet the new born face that was wished for and created out of love. The siblings that we fought with during our own childhood that we now are more estranged from. The apply pie that grandma baked, who gave us the feelings of nostalgia during our youth.

We forget to notice – we are blessed.

We spend all our lives seeking out to buy more and more and forget that we have all we need in our homes, our hearts can be filled with the warmth of a good family if only we could all appreciate what a family unit is and what it means to balance life again.

We all have moments where we make a mess in our lives, where we say or do something that we shouldn’t have, but that doesn’t mean life is over. We all make mistakes, and we all fall from grace. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and neither are our children or our families, love needs to be nurtured to grow and today is only the guarantee.

Everything can be lost in the blink of an eye. Our health suffers throughout our short existence and when the time comes to face our death bed, too many hearts are filled with remorse and regret. Regrets that could of been avoided, regrets that we had a life and wasted this gift by chasing after the next big thing. When in truth. The biggest thing we can ever have, is who and what we are in our hearts.

Happiness is not something we can ever buy, bottle or save for a rainy day. Happiness is an inside job, and if we continue spending our entire existence chasing after the next biggest gadget, we really suffer for our selfish needs by the loss of a family that was neglected and abandoned by our parents before us. We need to build bridges. We cannot change our pasts, however poor it was in warmth or love, but we all have a new day every day to change the future. If only we could look at life more simply!

We need to stop chasing and wanting and look inside our hearts and homes. Because this is what love is all about. The fighting and bickering over who will wash the dishes. The moaning about the toilet seat with our men, etc,.!!

The only way we can bring forward a change is if we, as a species change. Let’s raise a generation of warm and stable children as opposed to teaching them to work and neglect their health, and effectively themselves. After all it’s really up to us to teach them well. As adults we do this. This is how we change the future into a kinder and more benevolent universal place.

We all matter and we can all make a difference.

We need to return to the simple life again… where grandmas apple pie was the highlight of our youth and the tress in the park were a playground of adventure and imaginative play. As opposed to the latest x box or iPhone gadget! We can and should teach our children, time is priceless, as is love and attention.

Let’s feed our children with the wonders of the world and let them bring forward a world, that will be wonderful again!

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