Sensitive people attract negative people like moths to a flame. Negative or toxic vampires are elusive and can damage wellbeing affecting your quality of life. Developing a resilience against this type of attack can help you to bounce back from feeling overwhelmed and disillusioned. Sensitive people can have a difficult time adapting from an energetic vampire. You may feel depleted in energy, or confused as to why this has happened.
STOP! It’s nothing personal.
You don’t need to find excuses or reasons, the problem isn’t with you, or about you, it’s really about them. When you feel like you have been hoodwinked or taken for a fool, bring in your emotional resilience tool box and learn to master your destiny.
You can’t change their behaviour….. You can change yours’!.
By developing the right attitude, you can build up your emotional resilience, when you master this skill, you will learn to increase your resilience against emotional emergencies. People with emotional resilience and are adept at what comes at them, reacting more flexibly as they know within, that they will get better.
Emotional resilience and Emotional awareness
People who have emotional awareness understand what they are feeling and why. They are also adept in understanding other people’s feelings because they are in touch with their inner life. By building up your resilience quotient, you’re giving yourself permission to hurt, and then letting it go, reduces any excess baggage that might hinder you in your life.
Perseverance – this is an action orientated perspective and integral in emotional resilience.
Internal locus of control – believing that they are in control of their own lives, and also have a realistic view of the world; this supports a solution orientated sense of control, which reduces stress.
Optimism – seeing the positives in the situation and believe in their own strength. This can help their mind set shift from a victim mentality to an empowered one, therefore, more choices open up.
Support – appreciate the value of social support and can surround themselves with supportive friends.
Sense of humour – being able to laugh at life’s difficult times. It helps as it change the mind-set from that which is a threat, to one of a challenge which alters the body’s response to stress.
Perspective – Resilient people learn from their mistakes, (rather than deny them) obstacles are challenges and adversity makes them stronger. Finding meaning in life’s challenges rather than seeing it through victim mentality.
Spirituality – being connected to your spiritual side, enhances resilience.
Emotional resilience enhances awareness – You know your boundaries.
They understand the separation between who they are authentically and the cause of their suffering. The stress or suffering does not take over their identity.
They practice acceptance – stress and pain is stressful, when we feel pain, we immediately want it to go away. When pain is someone’s else’s suffering, we want to take it away. People with emotional resilience understand that pain ebbs and flows, they know that as hard as the pain is to deal with in that moment, it is better to accept the situation and come to terms with it than vent, repress or ignore it. Acceptance is about experiencing the full range of emotions and trusting that we will bounce back.
They are self-aware and know when the time is right to reach out for help or support. Being unaware can drop us into distraction and disassociation mode, it also engages us with the body and mind, being aware of subtle cues of their body or mood.
They practice mindfulness, being in the present moment without judgement or avoidance. Being able to get out of their head when in the midst of stress they go for a walk, to the gym, cook or volunteer
The have a list of self care habits that help to pull them through difficult times,
Happiness arises out of pursuing – a pleasant life increasing positive emotions and savouring these emotions (e.g. playing computer games, drawing, knitting, cooking, eating chocolate, watching TV, going to the cinema, reading a book, pampering themselves without guilt.
A good life being engaged and absorbed in activities using some of your personal strengths (e.g. playing a musical instrument, painting, gardening)
A meaningful life being in the service of others and/or something larger than you (e.g. volunteering, caring for family)
Emotional resilience is a tool that which enables you to take back your power and maintain your control over situations you have no control with.
There is one irrefutable law in the universe, and that is we are responsible for our own life and ourselves. If you’re holding anyone else accountable for your happiness your wasting your time. You must learn to be fearless to give yourself the love you didn’t receive.
Only you are the master of your destiny. Only you can make the change. Only you are accountable for yourself.
Your not accountable for anybody else’s actions!