Stuck between the mirror and the mask – a process of controlling the environment and people by hiding behind a mask, an abuser lasers in on psychological vulnerability.
One of the strongest associations to affect health and wellbeing is formed in the endocrine system.
According to scholar texts, primary Narcissism develops between 6 months to 6 years. During this time, the developing child learns through play, observes interaction and experiences of life through their perspective. Healthy attachments equal a healthy child. Damaged attachments equal a fragmented and damaged psyche/child. (see theorist M Ainsworth) Narcissism plays a vital role in creativity and is essential for self-preservation. Narcissism when healthy, is productive and constructive, when damaged, a plethora of destruction ensues to the healthy mind, soul and body.
When someone with narcissism is successful in their endeavor’s, they feel exhilarated. When they are unsuccessful, they are prone to anxiety, boredom and resentment!
Narcissism is not limited to personality disorders; narcissism also exists in catatonic paranoid delusion and depressive episodes! Depression is the polar-opposite or shadow label to narcissism. Depression requires people to isolate away whereas narcissism requires people to attention seek.
The anger and rage that narcissists express is two tiered.
Constant anger at someone else – blame
Self-armed wrath (Get out of the way)
Depression affects narcissism, big time. When the narcissist, has lost its power supply, or attention source, it reverts to depression, to glean self pity, instill guilt and emotionally pull the other, into the narcissists land of fantasy and illusion.
Narcissists hit the floor in despair, when their supply has gone, reverting to pitying behaviours, some threaten suicide, to further push you into their control so they can blame you, for the outcome if their request is denied. (‘I’m going to kill myself if you leave me? Or, if you don’t give me this, I’ll kill myself and my blood will be on your hands!) A depressive narcissist will make YOU responsible for their life choices. Whereas someone with genuine depression wouldn’t abuse you for their own gain, because their mind is too dark and heavy to access self pity. Infact, its unlikely someone with depression will say anything, until the black fog has lifted at least!
NB; Its not only clinicians who are blackmailed through the litigation route, spouses, business colleagues, absolutely anyone, can be targeted, by a narcissist ! They’re ruthless with hidden wounds!
Please be assured that narcisstic depression is not the same as clinical depression. Someone with clinical depression doesn’t easily open up and finds life meaningless. The narcissist with depression will use themselves as the tool for gleaning how much they mean to YOU. Constantly fishing for compliments or positive reinforcement, to bolster the ego back up again.
The sociological and psychological cost of pretending to be other than we are is called neurosis. The intrinsic experience for narcissism in accomplishment is transformed into manipulation, exploitation and fooling people.
Is narcissism another name for Autism! Coincidentally, the two disorders are affected during the first six years of life. There is now research to evidence that all children have autistic features between 6 months to age six, or is this narcissism they exhibit?
Freud once said – ‘show me the child from 0- 7 and i’ll show you the man!
Scientists are still scratching their heads trying to locate the GENETIC evidence! although, gene 16 is being analysed!
From my own personal experiences and a thorough analysis in the scientific research, I believe the condition is genetic, 100%!
Scientific fact; Gene 15 has a long arm and a short arm.
The long arm expresses itself as introversion or extraversion (narcissism)
The short arm expresses itself as savant or psychotic (psychopathy).
Autism works along a continium, which is either high functioning, (easily overlooked) resembling Asperger’s disorder, or it can be low functioning, more severely brain damaged with limited cognition, social and verbal skills.
Therefore; is Narcissism High functioning Autism or Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism. (Hans Asperger originally labeled the diagnosis psychopathy autism in 1950!!)
The endocrine system is directly related to the biological system, connected through the central nervous system and peripheral nervous system. These two proprioceptive abilities, deliver information back to the mind, enabling memory storage through sensory processing. And, more importantly – Trauma bonding.
Trauma bonds create; insecurity, paranoia, low self-esteem and self-worth, obsessive compulsive disorders, psychosis. Abandonment, betrayal, taken away into care, war survivors, PTSD, depression, anxiety, personality disorders, sociopathy, psychopathy, anxiety, neurosis, psychosis and narcissism. Any attack or rejection experienced in childhood further impeaches the developing mind with narcissistic culture, encouraging sexualized behaviours, vanity, greed and parasitic lifestyles to name a few!
Depending on the developing child’s environment, psychology and sociology, the child will then start to express behaviours and traits associated to neurosis and psychosis equivalent to their childhood programming. Thus, a child abused during developmental years learns to feel shame, anger, injustice, humiliation, (shame creates addictions) addictions damage health, health keeps the body alive. It becomes a vicious cycle!
Autism and Asperger’s depend on mimicry for social learning! A child with Asperger’s raised in poverty and violence, will inevitably grow and become, the violent abuser he has been taught to emulate!
NB; poverty of affection doesn’t only apply to poor people. You can be desperately poor from lack of maternal or paternal affection.
Addictions are the effects of internal childhood traumas, children who experienced some form of abuse, will have addictions, whether the addiction is from food, alcohol, drugs, attention, or any other addictive habit. Addiction affects the emotional development of the child and their life progress. Is there any difference between the alcoholic, addicted to alcohol and the working man, addicted to Prozac, or dependent on insulin or other drugs for a long-term malady they have? Is it fair to the homeless man that he is stigmatized with mental illness or alcoholism when this disease affects the wealthy in equal measure? What’s the difference between someone addicted to cocaine and someone dependent on dopamine or Prozac or even opioid’s for pain relief? They all deliver the same remedy! Relief from pain!
PREJUDICE. – Addicted or dependent? Aren’t they both two sides of the same coin!
Bad or ill informed physicians and parent’s (yes parents will insist on a diagnosis rather than face the truth of their own BAD parenting! I worked as a challenging behaviour practitioner, the reality is shocking!!) parents will insist their child is damaged, not themselves and will push and manipulate the physician to medicate a young (under 7 years) child with a lethal dose of risperidone, ritalin or other mediaction to control energetic impulses or violent outbursts, but they will not medicate a pedophile, rapist, or an abuser, because these people have human rights! Science tells us that Melatonin inhibits sexual development? Common sense says give it to sex offenders!! Risperidone controls aggressive outbursts! Yet the dangerous predators among us have more human rights, than children – Where’s the justice in that!
In defence of physicians, many feel forced to medicate, due to the current trend of litigation, facing all qualified staff! Many push the medication too, its dual natured! Doctors sometimes have no choice or voice, to stop such barbaric child abuse! Just so the narcissistic parents can claim extra money!! That’s Disgraceful parenting! And completely undermines the true nature of raising a child with brain damage arison from complicated birth defects as opposed to neglectful parenting! Due to their parents ‘Facetious disorder’ which is a gaining momentum. Parenting these children is a full time, exhausting task, many children don’t sleep longer than 2-3 hours, so stamina in parenting is a necessity. However, this disability is undermined by narcissistic parent’s (or more respectfully known as Master Manipulators!) who refuse to accept her own flaws and faults, preferring to project them onto their child! Forcing drugs on a healthy child Is one of the effective ways to permanently damage a child’s development, brain and quality of life! Thats narcissistic parenting!!
So what actually creates a narcissistic parent?
Where or what happens to those who experienced childhood trauma! Thus; Abuse, Neglect, Trauma, Abandonment, any psychological wounding!
Then we have the 10 personality disorders, that without a doubt, masks one of the four personality temperments;
[Approximately 4% of men and 7% of women are thought to have some form of antisocial personality disorder according to the DSM-IV. What about all the other labels? Beneath all personality disorders you will find one of these FOUR basic human traits.]
ASPERGERS. ADHD. AUTISM. NEUROTYPICAL.
Then we have 10 main personality disorders are divided into three personality disorder clusters.
Cluster A; Anxious – Agitated: religious, fanatic, phantasy!
Cluster B; Anxious – Aggressive: dramatic, erratic, superior!
Cluster C; Anxious – Fearful: dependant, avoidant, inferior!
Psychopathy = Fearless!!
Where or what cluster does neurotypical fall under? Or is the neurotypical a narcissistic raised without poverty, violence or neglect? Is neurotypical, the epitome of perfection. As those who can confidently state that not one single attribute or aspect from any of the three personality disorders clusters applies to them – they must be a saint that can walk on water. Why aren’t these perfect people feeding the masses with a loaf of bread!! Or is the label personality disorder just another label to affect and shame personal development and life acceptance!
Central to understanding individuals diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, or at least psychopathy, is that they appear to experience a limited range of human emotions. This can explain their lack of empathy for the suffering of others, since they cannot experience the emotion associated with either empathy or suffering. Risk-seeking behaviour and substance abuse may be attempts to escape feeling empty or emotionally void. The rage exhibited by psychopaths and the anxiety associated with antisocial personality disorder may demonstrate the limit of emotion experienced, or they may be physiological responses without analogy to emotion by others.
Indicating a connection to a chemical or biological dysfunction. Brain injury or brain trauma!!
Research has shown that individuals with antisocial personality disorder are indifferent to the possibility of physical pain or many punishments, and show no indications that they experience fear when so threatened. This may explain their apparent disregard for the consequences of their actions, and their aforementioned lack of empathy.
My approach to explaining antisocial behaviours is due to the fact that, relationships with people of this disability are extra sensory. The ASPD has sensory processing deficits as do those with autism. Therefore, are these autistic children born to parents who are already on the ASPD spectrum, with gene 15 or 16 being the main cause as opposed to the current trend of blaming parenting, abusive homes or neglect?? Or is there an alternative explaination. Are their fathers or mothers undiagnosed Asperger’s, or have a child trauma injury, that shut down their higher emotions! The connection to the emotional core, the amygdala, (emotional brain) is damaged or detached!
Another alternative is that children with autism is deficit in their sensory processing. Any parent to a child that has a diagnosis of autism will agree that these children are hyper aroused and hyper sensitive to sensory stimuli. The world overwhelms them to the point of anxiety and fear. These children are fearful of all the stimuli that surrounds them, they present as frustrated or anxious and may react ferociously from the internal stimulus.
Asperger’s or high functioning Autism on the other hand, is also extra sensory in presentation. They are either acute, or deficient to sensory stimuli. The difference with these two disorders is language acquisition; the autism fails to understand language and social engagement and prefers to be a loner, too overwhelmed by the sensory stimuli. The Asperger’s are the geeky kids in the class, or the quiet ones that don’t get heavily involved in social events, incredibly intelligent yet they desperately want to fit in, to feel accepted and part of the whole, but are rejected by the neurotypical. The ADHD child can have either autistic or asperger features, but tend to be more energtic or imaginative!
Conduct disorder is at the exact opposite end of the spectrum to Autism or Asperger’s and is now often diagnosed as autism. Coincidentally, Asperger’s was at one time called psychopathic autism. Conduct disorder is diagnosed after a child is consistently delinquent, (could this really be evidence of trauma expressing itself for the damaged, asperger child?)
I have worked with parents of challenging children, here is an example of two children at age four; both children had a diagnosis of autism. One child was extremely anxious, fearful and tense, non-verbal and highly sensory, who reacted aggressively towards overwhelming stimuli, internal pain and was most likely to self injure. [Self directed harm] The other child demonstrated no anxiety, he had verbal skills but this was delayed compared to his peers, and he thrived on causing a shock, hurting another or even destroying the classroom. The teachers, children and other adults were fearful of this child, but the child was elated at the intrinsic rewards felt from the shock tactics? [Outer directed harm]
In my opinion, the difference between the two children is that one is fearful, the other is fearless. The fearless child was ruthless, antisocial, aggressive, demonstrated sexualised behaviour as a response to anger stimulus, for a release to their tensions and inner turmoil, the frustration at being told no, became sexually arousing for a young boy of four. Within the autism spectrum disorder, mainly Asperger’s, there is evidence of voyeurism, fetishes and odd sexual behaviours, all sexual fantasies and voyeuristic adventures fall under the Autism/Asperger’s biology? Is this why they are dealt with leniently and without public knowledge? There is obviously a reason why rapists are given lenient sentances, is this it?
Personality disorders are intrinsically driven by one of the four temperments!
Therefore, are we all born autistic? Is it life’s experiences and trauma’s that shape the developing temperment. Any mother who has raised a child on the autism spectrum will confirm that their child had an earlier episode of epilepsy, or convulsions of some type, or was a very traumatic birth, prematurity or other complication! Yet there seems to be a increase in the diagnosis of autism, from children raised through violence, abuse and neglect? Isn’t this what actually creates narcissism, neglect! As opposed to blaming poverty. Because narcissism doesn’t just affect the working class any more than it affects the wealthy class! Neglect creates the wound! Not everyone who displays narcissism is psychotic. Not everyone who is psychotic, is poor!
So why is this disorder growing so fast? Is it actually societal ignorance to the true genetic component. Because personality disorders are social and environmental problems, a derogative label given to someone who is actually a vicitm of childhood trauma!! Yet there is a fast growth in diagnosing an autism/narcissim diagnosis.
Autism ADHD and Aspergers are all different expressions of a childs unique personality, due to the biological nature of these three disorders, they are further stigmatised by society, which then goes on to develop another stigmatising label of personality disorder!
Childhood trauma’s, regardless of biological implications will express itself in adult life as either C-PTSD or PTSD. The label of personality disorder simply deflects away from the actual cause. Trauma is trauma, not a personality deficit!
The autistic is intuitively connected to you via sensing if you are safe and dependable. An autistic child that has high anxiety and is very fearful, this is evidenced in their sensory overload where their behaviour changes. The aspergers/aspd child is fearless, and thrives on the power they feel in hurting you.
Autism – is it our birthright? Are those who experience birth trauma or early brain trauma autistic, (nature) and those who through narcisstic wounding, neglect, poverty and victim mentality from a narcisstic culture are made. (nurture) The two expressions are very distinct from each other. A person who has not experienced abuse, truama or neglect presents as narcisstic, as opposed to autistic!
Narcissism, is not PTSD!
The amygdala plays an important role here, those detached from the amygdala are high functioning and more calculated and those who have frontal lobe damage are more impulsive and reckless!
Personality disorders are constructed through our childhoods, they are created from times where we were neglected, abandoned, rejected, ridiculed, vilified or abused. The traumatic event, decides how it will respond and cope with such an injury to ego. The trauma is either identified or resolved, such as a child falls over and hurts their knee, they cry, their mother nurses their pain and they feel better. However, an emotional injury, such as being scolded in front of the class for saying something cheeky or defying your parent’s commands, creates a psychological injury. This injury, if left alone, will be processed and stored, according to the age and ability of the child. Thus, a four year old child will feel a different response as opposed to a teenager experiencing the same incident. The trauma is recorded, as are all experiences and stored to memory.
The younger the child’s age when they experienced the emotional wound, the greater the wound inside. The adult who is responsible for the child’s welfare who failed to model and demonstrate appropriate behaviour, for a child will process this event as bad, they will then vow to themselves that no-one will ever hurt them again and this resolve shuts down their emotional capacity, this creates a block to their inner stream of emotions, the fear of loss of control shapes the persona they show to the world.
Therefore, they become more assertive, dominant, fearful and controlling, to ensure, they never experience the same trauma again, to protect the fragility of their own soul from suffering like they did as a child. Effectively, blocking the wound from consciousness, the fear of exposing their vulnerability becomes too much to bear and then ultimately, silently refusing (denying) to acknowledge they have a problem, which is then expressed in their behaviour in the environment and to the world at large.
The (wo)man behind the mask becomes the man mask that wears the (wo)man!
Personality disorders, are labels that fall under the C-PTSD or PTSD bracket, because what lies beneath the label is a traumatic childhood, needing acceptance, expression, compassion, understanding, and most of all…. love!
We’re not all going to agree on everything, as individuals we are different from each other but beneath the mask, we are still the same. As a human species we are all different and unique, by embracing and accepting our diversity and differences, whether they be through gender, culture, societal or otherwise is the way to create a more functional and harmonious humanity!