Anxiety is a growing health condition that’s affecting healthy child development. Many children who have experienced trauma are struggling with an internal battle they have no understanding about. Children who have a brain injury are being persecuted further because the adults and care givers overlook what’s really happening underneath the behaviour which is driven by their own personal experiences. Ignoring and dismissing the child’s emotional or psychological pain creates dysfunction adults!
Broken family, abuse, neglect, traumatic experiences, damaged attachments and brain injury all require additional support. Refusing to acknowledge the child and their personal feelings is neglect. It’s child abuse! And it doesn’t always happen by parents. Schools are just as responsible for a child’s wellbeing as much as their caregivers are!
Damaged attachments are revealed in disruptive behaviour. Brain injury is revealed through anxiety and aggression. Neurological impairments cause all manner of reactions. Fear based teaching creates fear inducing adults. Children learn to communicate and get their needs met, via aggression, violence or through fear based conditioning taught by either the parents or the schools!
The solution; to enable children to understand and to teach respect. Turn their internal traumas into a game to help them overcome distrust, enables healthy communication and allows them to learn to respect those in authority begins in the school as well as at home. You have to work together to support child development.
The game; Red card yellow card
To help children who have experienced a psychological trauma, emotional trauma or has a neurological brain injury, the strategy is the red card yellow card game. It’s a game because often, in sports, namely football, the yellow card indicates to the player a warning and the red card means they are sent off. Applying the same rules with your child in both school and at home this game will have a positive effect to managing aggressive or anxious behaviour, relieve anxiety and develop healthy boundaries.
Consistency is the key to success! All parties involved need to work together. Boundaries need to be taught.
The child has one red and one yellow card. The adult or school has two yellow cards and one red card. This is to allow for a two way communication between a child who is experiencing anxiety and tension and also for the teachers and parents to help support effective communication to unravel the true nature of the child’s distress. Communication and understanding goes a long way for the young impressionable child!
The additional yellow card should be used by the adult to help support and manage disruptive behaviour, helping the child to learn right from wrong, acceptable and not acceptable. The child on the other hand uses the yellow card to enable them to communicate that they are struggling, anxious, afraid or even triggered by something within the school or home environment. Be it bullying from peers, dysfunctional home environment, or it may even be due to a neurological brain injury!
By teaching the child that they have a voice and showing them that they will be listened to, helps promote healthy behaviour, increases respect towards authority and allows the child to feel safe and heard, when experiencing internal distress!
Anxiety has many different root causes, from damaged attachments, to mental health. it’s also a common symptom for children who have Autism, Asperger, ADHD, PTSD, emotional or attachment trauma!
The game is a strategy that should be used by all parties – school and home, and as a means of preventing further traumas to accumulate which affects social interaction and healthy behaviour and development!
You can’t expect a child to show respect if that respect isn’t taught. In the CLASSROOM as well as at HOME! It’s a two way street, parents are struggling to manage anxiety because schools pick and choose who should stay at school and who is sent home! Aggressive anxiety is met with school refusing the child to attend, the child grows up believeing they are bad or unworthy! If the child doesn’t display aggressive or violent behaviour, the schools bully and threaten parents with the law for non attendance! It’s a no win situation and the child is the one to suffer.
You can’t pick and choose who you want to teach. All children deserve a chance to engage. Isolating one and bullying the other creates disrespect and promotes aggression!
Children are becoming more and more rebellious because the school refuses to see their point of view, their mental wellbeing is affected because the school has one opinion only, which is to blame the parents. Even when the parents are not at fault!
Brain injury and psychological brain trauma needs support!
When children express anxiety, many schools are negating the experience these children are suffering. Which then in turn teaches the child that they cannot trust authority. They then grow up defiant against all authority because they were never shown any respect from the institution that was there for them when they were young.
There’s on old proverb that’s so true in today’s violent climate – the child who is not embraced by his village, will burn it down to feel it’s warmth! Thus; the oppressed becomes the oppressor!
A child who is vilified and bullied by the environment and adults where they engage, will inevitably turn against against the people that should nurture and support them.
The school is the first institution a child engages with. And if that school refuses to acknowledge the child’s mental health, then we can expect these children to turn against the authority that was supposed to support and nurture them when they needed the help then most.
Children need a safe environment where they feel cared for, where they can learn and engage with peers. Where their fears and traumas will be addressed and supported! Where they can feel safe to talk to an adult about what’s happening in their world, this Instills respect, enhances wellbeing and prevents further damage to both the child and their development.
Forcing a child to take medication emotional distress expressed in their behaviour when their behaviour is their only voice, is child abuse, from both parties! It tells a child that all problems, emotional, mental and physical are only cured by drugs and they grow up dependant on drugs. Legal or otherwise. Parents who insist on a diagnosis for their child when parenting is the problem is effectively abusing the child! Just as much as the school who refuses to help develop healthy behaviour towards children who have neurological impairment because they don’t want the stats figures to drop! Or they want to keep the image and reputation of the school intact and would rather refuse the child as opposed to nurturing their potential!
You can’t expect a child to show respect and understand boundaries if it isn’t taught!
At home AND at school! And in any other environment they engage with!
It takes a village to raise a child! Not all children need drugs to develop. Not all behaviours are resolved by drugs.