I have impaired hearing, its something I’ve lived with since a young child, I had surgery after surgery throughout my childhood but nothing improved. In fact, the numerous surgeries damaged my hearing more and gave me tinnitus. To be honest, I preferred the silence because in the stillness of silence, I found peace. And although having a sensory impairment that affects communication, I was gifted with another sixth sense where I learn’t another way to listen, without human voice or sound.
Emotional intuition and feeling vibration, saved me from many dangers! I had to experience danger, bullying, ingorance, deception and brutality, to learn to use this special gift!
This is my world of silence….
My world of silence. So still and bare.
I kneel before you. I whisper my prayer!
Inside with stillness. I’m not alone.
A land of stillness, No word need shared!
Laugher and love, dance through my heart!
In my world with no sound!
Where the heart speaks without word or sound.
My stomach feels heavy and dense.
The energy feels thick and dark!
Silence speaks – without words
Listen, listen to vibration on the ground!
When danger is ahead, I Listen for the sound.
You can feel footsteps, to track the danger.
From the vibration of footsteps.
Pick up pace, on the ground.
The sound of the tracks, the bleeps and the bass.
Hone in on my world, distracting my darkness of peace.
The buzzing, the humming, the high pitched squeaks.
Drive me crazy with tension,
The sensation runs deep.
The projections become daggers,
It’s feels raw and deep….
A contracting occurs within.
Words have the power to heal, they also have the power to cause ferocious pain. When you can communicate without words, the heart grows new wings! Learn to feel and you will learn to heal, all that is hidden, broken and maimed! People always yell at me, just listen…. just LISTEN! They called me thick and stupid, they accused me of ignorance when i ask them to repeat themselves two or three times! They abused my vulnerability…. I say, I am listening…. this type of ignorance is felt deeply, so if you scream at me and call me ignorant, I ask you this….. do you shout and scream at a paralysed man to JUST WALK!!
I refuse to be defined by my disability. Every day I try harder to listen to conversation, I read the language of the body, and the shape of the mouth, to help me listen, when I can’t make out sound. I try to fit into a world that despises imperfections like mine…. I say this to those who have ignorance in their hearts… do you shout and scream at the blind man for not seeing the sunset…. do you yell and rage at the cripple to walk….. then why do you rage at me… and judge me for being half deaf!
Silence is golden and the ignorance that angers you is your own ignorant bliss!