As a child, we are often conditioned to behave and learn from what our care givers believe is the correct way to live. Our care givers are led by a society in which a collective group of people develop rules and restrictions for the human life. When we as a child attempt to do or say something that goes against the rules that society has designed. We feel anger at being chastised. This anger, is then repressed. Compartmentalised in the dark recess of your mind.
Anger is not negative, it’s an emotion, that when utilised correctly, we can work through it to release any negative conditioning we have inbuilt into our personality.
When expressed appropriately, it helps the person to develop a healthy sense of the self, helping manage uncomfortable emotions through self control. When suppressed, which it often is in this hostile, conditioned world, the child suppresses their true feelings, represses the memory of the trauma and idealises or condemns, those guilty of the abuse. Later in life, as an adult, they will have no memory of the trauma, to which the person will have dissassociated from the original cause, those feelings of anger, helplessness, anxiety and despair will find an expression in destructive acts against others, such as criminal behaviour, mass murder or, use anger against themselves with addictions, alcoholism, suicide or a psychotic disorder.
Emotional suppression inevitably leads to neurosis – anxiety and depression or psychosis – personality disorders and insanity. Personality disorders are man made mental illnesses, created by a dysfunctional society, family or culture.
Emotional repression are unresolved traumas related to earlier painful experiences. The person has learnt from a very young age, the response of fight or flight. The chemicals in the emotional body from a negative repressed emotion, floods the body and the named chemical adrenaline, is released. The adrenaline is designed to alert you to impending danger and once this has been activated, your blood vessels dilate, allowing the neurons from the brain to release an uncomfortable message to the body.
As a child we don’t understand what the chemical is, that was flooded into blood stream, so in a state of panic, we seek out something, or someone to help us alleviate this fear that has just occurred. If we don’t find a care giver, to reassure us, we then try to run from this uncomfortable feeling and disassociate from the danger it presented. Children who learn harsh traumas in this way, develop coping mechanisms from this denial. They will either become more conscientious and learn to please and rescue those with similar dysfunctional traumas, or they repress the pain and use it to punish from their core wound.
The chemical reaction in the brain has been established, the neurons now have a channel in the physical body, that is associated to neurosis. Their anger is recognised as a threat, they are unable to sit with the discomfort of their own hatred and rage, from their own painful traumatic memory of childhood abuse and hide their anger, they then choose to become the oppressor, the perpetrator of abuse and keep the cycle out of public view.
Abusers, Narcissists, psychopaths, rapists, murderers. These people believe it is not only acceptable, but also their right, to condemn, belittle, harass, humiliate, demoralise and demonise another human being. They do this through covert manipulation as they are terrified of being found out as a fraud and losing control. Or they do these things for thrills!
Narcissism is the driving motivation behind abusive actions, not only can it disguise itself as a mental disorder, but it can also hide behind closed doors, away from public eyes. Families can be damaged by a narcissistic mother, wanting nothing more than to put their child on a pedestal and adding pressure on that child to perform, for their mother’s ego. Or, a father, whom is so enraged by his own indignant fury of being disobeyed, he lashes out, physically at his partner or child, to re-establish his authority and power.
Empathy is the antithesis of Narcissism – The emotion that not all human beings have, that allows them to connect and engage in a meaningful capacity with another person. Empathy enables us to share experiences, traumas and build bonds together.
Empathy is the neutralising charge that builds trust, co-operation, and friendships which gives us the capacity to connect, invisibly with another. Empathy, like anger, is energy. Empathy is a skill that you are either born with, or have been taught to develop through relationships. Empathy is intuitive as the person who has it, can feel the other persons emotions and frame of mind. Empathy is a skill that communicates via the human body, the voice of your soul.
Narcissism is your ego, it is selfish, empathy is your soul, it is selfless. Which one are you feeding!